Friday, December 23, 2011

O Jingo

Um estrangeiro é um estrangeiro. Assim como imagino gringos se perguntaram que diabos esse povo todo está fazendo na beira da praia no ano novo, eu vou passando à margem do calendário babilônico do segundo semestre: primeiro o Ralo [Halloween], meu preferifo; depois o Tanco [Thanksgiving], com intermináveis debates na mídia sobre receitas de peru assado, e finalmente o Jingo [Natal], parecido com o Brasil até certo ponto. Até certo ponto porque faz um frio de matar [não este ano, felizmente] e porque simplesmente TODAS as lojas e estabelecimentos comerciais tocam música de natal 24 horas por dia. Country Jingo, Rap Jingo, balada Jingo, Jingo Folk, Jingo Rock e assim vamos com 345 versões diferentes de Jingle Bells e companhia. Então, com objetivos puramente etnológicos, escolhi aquela que representa o fim da picada:


Grandma got runned over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

She'd been drinkin' too much eggnog,
And we'd begged her not to go.
But she'd left her medication,
So she stumbled out the door into the snow.

When they found her Christmas mornin',
At the scene of the attack,
There were hoof prints on her forehead,
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back.

R: Grandma got runned over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve.
(On her way home)
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
(Say there's no Santa)
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
(Lord, we believe)

Now we're all so proud of Grandma,
He's been takin' this so well.
See him in there watchin' football,
Drinkin beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle.

It's not Christmas without Grandma.
All the family's dressed in black.
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?

R: Grandma got runned over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve.
(Midnight before Christmas)
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
(Say there's no Santa)
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
(Lord, we believe)

Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of fig.
And a blue and silver candle
That would have just matched the hair in grandma's wig.

I've warned all my friends and neighbors.
"Better watch out for yourselves.
They should never give a license,
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves."

R: Grandma got runned over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve.
(Minding her own business)
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
(What do you mean there's no Santa?)
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
(Lord, we believe)

Oh
As for me and Grandpa, we believe.
(We believe in Santa Claus.)

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